


i feel like i'm dead now that he's gone.

by idiotwerewolf



Series: FMA One Shots [6]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Promised Day, lots of hurt but no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27753082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotwerewolf/pseuds/idiotwerewolf
Summary: Edward and Alphonse have left for the East and West, Winry has feelings.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell
Series: FMA One Shots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024006
Kudos: 9





	i feel like i'm dead now that he's gone.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a sprint with a couple of friends! Enjoy! :)

The house seemed empty. The house _was_ empty. Edward and Alphonse had gone to the West and East, respectively. It was only Winry and Den now, as it had been for the last few weeks. There was no chaotic chatter, no clinking of automail limbs, shouted refusals to drink milk, and much quieter pleas for the other to settle down, no laughter or love, or overzealous offers to do chores, no goofy moments, no shared meals. Nothing. None of the energy the house used to have- that it _should_ have. She hadn't become accustomed to that just yet.

She still found herself setting out two extra servings for the Elric's- for her Edward and Alphonse... It broke her heart each time she realized they wouldn't be home for dinner for quite a long time. She'd get used to it eventually, just like she did when the boys had run off to join the military when they were only children. She just needed time. She told herself that every morning. _I just need more time. It won't hurt tomorrow. Just more time- that's it._ And she'd continue to tell herself that for as long as she needed- until they came home.

She sank onto the couch and held her head in her hands, fingers curling around blonde locks she hadn't bothered to brush yet. Her hands and fingers are partially covered by the sleeves of Edwards's white sweater. It still smelled like him, like leather, grease, and what Winry thought home smelled like- what home smelled like to her. It made what she was feeling all the more difficult.

So much had happened, and _so_ fast! She could barely wrap her head around it. _There was a coup, the world ended, the world was saved, Alphonse got his body back-_

She was yanked from her thoughts when Den let out a sharp, high pitched whine and dropped her head rather roughly on Winry's foot. She let out a sigh and leaned down to pat the dog's head, but the moment her hand made contact, she burst into tears.

"Den..." she said quietly, words catching in her throat as she sank to the floor. Her next words were mumbled into the dog's thick black fur. "I feel like I'm dead now that he's gone... Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like the air is harder to breathe? Like the sun is cooler and the wind is softer? Why does nothing feel the way it should?"

She sat up and rubbed away the tears with the back of her hand, continuing to mumble questions the dog was unable to answer.

"Why does it hurt? And why do I feel nothing at the same time? Why..." a sob cut her off.

"Why... why did he have to go?!" she might as well have been yelling considering the volume she had been speaking at. "He- he could have stayed! He didn't have to-"

_Yes, he did, Winry. You know that. Edward needed to do this._

She sniffled herself into silence as she tried to calm down, it took longer than she'd like to admit, though it was her own fault, she promised Edward she wouldn't cry anymore, and she hadn't cried in quite some time because of that. _That damn Elric! Her Elric... Her Edward..._

"I... I miss him, Den... I miss him so much."

Winry stood on shaking legs and dropped onto the couch once more, curling up inside of the slightly too big sweater and inhaling as deeply as she could. If she hugged herself hard enough, she could pretend it was Ed... Pretend that he was home already, that he wasn't going to go that far away ever again.

How could she miss someone that badly? How could she love someone that much that their absence hurt her? Had she always felt like that? Or was her love more like a plant, growing steadily in the shining sun?

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out the link below if you're interested in finding out how to support me!
> 
> https://idiotwerewolf.tumblr.com/post/644405793836367872/hi-all-im-broke-as-hell-and-unable-to-work-due


End file.
